Episode 2: Apophis

Transcript:

Hey, kids. Captain Bummer here. Ya know, when I was a kid, I really wanted to be an astronaut in space. But after throwing up on several carnival rides, I realized my stomach was too lame to handle a real astronaut ride. It turns out that almost no one can be an astronaut! You need to be just the right size [pout], and in just the right top physical and mental shape [pout], you need to have just the right amount of really long education and hard-to-get experience [pout], and you need just the right amount of being just and right. And even if you've got all of that right stuff, you still need just the right amount of luck to get picked over all of the other people who are just as right as you [pout]! Becoming an *astro*naut is so *astro*nomically unlikely that you stand a better chance of getting killed by an *astro*roid! Why? Because while only one out of millions people can become an astronaut, just one asteroid can wipe out millions or billions of people [pout].
 
Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, there was a rock in outer space named Apophis. One day in the year 2036 (about 25 years from now), Apophis bumped into the planet Earth. Now Earth's scientists knew that Apophis might do this, but Earth's kings and presidents had more important problems to solve. And so Apophis, only slightly larger than a football stadium, plunged into the Pacific ocean about 300 miles west of Los Angeles, CA. Now you might think that hitting the ocean, rather than a big city, was a good thing, but as with so many tricky things in life, you'd be wrong [pout]. Instead, Aphophis created a giant hole in the ocean and sent a giant wave to the west coast of North America. And then the giant hole in the ocean was filled with a giant tower of water, which came crashing down to create another giant hole, and another giant wave. And this cycle happened over and over again for about 45 minutes, as the holes, waves, and towers got smaller and smaller. When everything was over, all of the beautiful beachfront homes, and hotels, and stores, and theme parks, and even some ignorant and stubborn people, were gone [pout], replaced with beautiful, white sand. The end.
 
I have seen the rhythm in your light
And I have seen precision in your flight
And I have seen a vision in the night
And all the time I'm knowing I could die
 
The comet and the sun
Couldn't hurt anyone
Cause they are so far away
We reach out to the sky
To ask the question "why?"
We only know that that's the way
 
I have heard the thunder in the sky
And I have heard a million voices cry
And I have heard with wonder in my eye
The wave that took us under was so high
 
The comet and the sun
Couldn't hurt anyone
Cause they are so far away
We reach out to the sky
And then we all die
We only know that that's the way
That's the way, yeah
 
So you see kids, why dream about being an astronaut *in* space when you could be worrying about being killed by things *from* space just like me, just like Captain Bummer. Well, that's all the time we have left for today. It is a beautiful and sunny day, so make sure to stay safely inside away from all of that space radiation. Otherwise, you might get skin cancer and dies [pout]. But before we go, let's sing our goodbye song.
 
Now it's time for me and you to go
Chances are that one of us won't reshow
We'd be apart for good
Goodbyes can be forever
Goodbyes can be for good
For good, for good, for good goodbye!
 
Learn more at:
http://www.nasajobs.nasa.gov/astronauts/
http://fora.tv/2008/02/19/Neil_DeGrasse_Tyson_Death_by_Black_Hole
http://neo.jpl.nasa.gov/